Awkward Feeling

I kinda feel nervous now, haven’t prepare for the coming final exam next month. I am a lil bit worried about how I am going to perform or do my best to pass, in other words, GRADUATE. I think I wasted too many times doing nothing, I mean over enjoyed the whole night in club. This is my final year and I’m supposed to study hard, but I don’t think I did that. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t study at all, but the fact is, I didn’t really struggle. I mean, when I’m in class I did study but when I’m at home, I felt too tired so I’m off to bed a.k.a sleep or go somewhere. Or maybe I spent too much times with poly activities. How I hate ceramah!
I want to be like my sister, I think she’s a good student. Maybe she’s not the best student for my dad, but look at her now dad, working at a big company and have a good salary. Since she’s the oldest, she’s the best example for us to do our best in everything we do, and yes she’s a good sister. I’m actually want to beat her, I mean like persaingan yang sihat between siblings kan. I’m afraid to fail. My dad once told me that, he really want his childs to success and make him proud. He hopes that someday one of us will be well known for having a good job. Sounds like, “saya mau juga ada orang bilang, oh anak si anu tu kan yang kerja di sana……” And I’m asking myself, will I do it for him? Anak derhaka ja yang nda mau. Tho he’s drunk when he said that. Drunken people always tell the truth, only segelintir ja yang temberang. kan??
Just hope i'll change to be better than now, really want to do my best. And really want to get a good result. God Bless me, Amen.

~* mmuuaaxx *~